I'm Back

Almost anyway. These recent few days, I have felt more positive and cheerful than ever. At first, I thought that it was because of the diarrhoea meds I was taking. But even after discontinuing it, I remain mostly positive. I think it is just a maturing of thought that had occurred, and I finally learnt to let go. I've made it a new priority to be kind a courteous, and to trust people again. I want to be nice again.

And I am ready to start again. I'm getting new found motivation, much like the sort I had when I was still schooling. The drive and desire to do well, to put in my best effort and deliver shining works of perfection. But alas, due to my folly and past wrongdoings, all that will have to wait for the outcome that I will receive tomorrow.

Truth is, I haven't been completely transparent and had not confronted my darker side. With my new found positive energy, it is all but gone. However what is done, is done. I had done some terribly wrong things, and I am now paying the price for it in full. I have nowhere else to vent these confused feelings, so here will have to do.

I really wish to have a fresh start, and I have understood my mistakes, and really want to move on from it. I really do not want to affect what now seems to be a bright future ahead for me. Now more than ever, I am feeling confident again, and I know exactly what I want to do in life. If only I could just go ahead and forge my dream. We will have to see the judgement that will be passed, but the pessimists will say that I am a goner.

Maybe I do deserve it. All of it. Maybe I must atone for all of my sins. But deep down inside, I am just praying and begging for a glimmer of hope. To be given a second chance. But then again, I really don't expect anyone to know how I feel, the pain I suffered and the ordeals I went through. Maybe you reading this can, but I wouldn't expect it...


I have so many things planned and coming up you know?! It's like my life is at a very positive turning spot right now. After months of wallowing in depression having left my unfulfilling job and wandering aimlessly looking for a purpose, you can safely say I found it! I recently started the makings of a small IT company with a childhood friend of mine. I intend to use this as not only an opportunity to gain experience in this space, but to also contribute back to the creative community, as well as to give my good friend a job and purpose in life as well.

You see, I had the idea of creating small compact apps for the cosplayer community to help them increase their exposure and go professional. The idea is pretty well baked and developed already. In fact I've had a working prototype for months now, and recently just finished doing the sales slides. It's all good to go, and we will be tapping on my friend's network to solicit our initial few customers. I really hope to get this company off the ground, and turn it into a success.

But then again, it all comes down to what will happen to me in the coming months ahead. It's like this unknown impending doom that threatens to put everything to a halt and send all I have built crumbling to ashes. What should I do?! God why me why now? I am feeling really powerless and scared. I am not a religious man, but honestly the only thing I can do now is to pray.

I will update here again if I ever get the chance. But if you don't see me anymore, all I can say is thank you for reading my blog, I wish you all the best, and goodbye.

~Signing off.