End of Chapter One

Everything that has a beginning has an end...






So this is supposed to be the big finale to end off Chapter One and Year One of my academic life. Perhaps I overstated this in the previous post, and some of you may have been expecting something great. To be honest, I didn’t really spend a lot of time preparing this, so it’s mostly gonna be off the cuff, and based on whatever I can think off. So unfortunately, it may not cover everything like I hoped it would. Anyway, let’s get started.

In the first few posts, I think I had stated that I intended this blog to be more optimistic and positive than emo. However, I spent awhile glancing through some of my older posts and found that it wasn’t always the case… But it can’t be helped right? I’ll always just speak my mind here. What’s the purpose of this post? Well, it’s certainly not exactly encouraging everyone to go dig up my old posts, but rather to serve as a short summary of what has happened thus far.

Looking back at things, it seems that I can split it up into four phases in chronological order. The first two being the first half of the semester up to the mid terms and the other two thereafter. So, I shall attempt to give a brief summary of each phase and how it affected me, and then move on to the next phase, in chronological order. So without further ado, let’s go!

Phase I: A new beginning

It’s a little weird because I started this blog during Semester two of Year one, so it technically doesn’t cover Semester one and the starting few weeks of Semester two. So, this part is actually a bonus section of sorts…

Phase one was good overall. It was the start of the new semester, and I was feeling pumped, totally prepared to score myself 5 ‘A’s and pull my results back up on track. It was also supposedly going to be the beginning of a brand new experience I was looking forward to. In semester one, I didn’t really have any friends who were in the same classes as me. So it felt like semester two was gonna be a bright new change for me, and for the first time in a long while, I felt really hopeful. And who could forget the big launch of this blog that coincided with my birthday. It also marked the first time anyone celebrated my birthday with me. Needless to say, it was all smiles and I was feeling super motivated for the period ahead. Marching on to the thought of “I’m so gonna score me some ‘A’s!”.

Phase II: Things are not always as perfect as they seem

So this phase is the part where it’s approaching the middle of the semester. What it also means, is that the mid-term tests were approaching. I guess I could have studied a lot harder than what I was doing. But I dunno why I didn’t. I suppose it was due to certain ‘developments’, and stuff that were happening around me, that affected me thoroughly…

Right, so mid-term tests. To be honest, none of the tests were particularly difficult. They were all doable to a certain degree. Except of course, the CS2100 paper… But even that was a ‘passable’ paper if you knew your stuff. Unfortunately, I didn’t. The results of the test were out shortly after, within one or two weeks.

Some were good, others not so. I did surprisingly well for the Economics test, considering I hadn’t really revised much for that. Sadly, it seemed that other than Ben, the rest of my friends didn’t do too well. I was also really happy with my CS1020 results, mostly due to the “Good. Keep it up.” comment posted in my online gradebook, rather than the 70+% score I got. I sure a lot of other people did just as well.

Well, that was the good part. The others were quite dismal really. I thought that I would do alright enough for the Calculus test, be the announcement that came back was, I quote: “..those that got 35 and above, keep it up. Those would didn’t please work harder…” So I took my score and subtracted 35, only to get a negative number… Sad face. That wasn’t the worst though. CS2100 was a dismal failure. It marked the first time I had a single digit score on my script, albeit the total was only 30.

If happiness and morale were charted in peaks and troughs, you could say that Phase two was the deepest valley, at least for this semester. More importantly, it was the dawning of a realisation, that things are not always as perfect as they seem, and that all good things come to an end.  Suffice to say, I was rather demoralised for that period of time.

Phase III: A Knight Returns

I’m not sure exactly when or why it happened, but it was at this point of time that I realised that I was starting to change. But at the very same time, I felt a part of me that was starting to come back. Not in a negative sense, but rather the old me that had got me thus far in terms of academic grades. i.e. in simple terms I was starting to get my old me and my brains back. It was like being shaken out of slumber and to shake off the sort of numbness and lethargy that had set in after two whole solid years of doing nothing at all (NS).

That’s why I named this phase “A Knight Returns”, signifying a return of a part of my older self from back in my student days. For the record, I prefer the term Knight rather than King, Hero, God, etc. While other terms may sound better/stronger, Knight suits me better. After all, my online user name in most places is AzureKn1ght, so it’s only appropriate to use it.

It’s funny because when people change, they don’t usually feel it happening and can’t tell it themselves. Whereas in my case, I can clearly see what I used to be and what I’m becoming. Having a part of my older self come back, is really only half of the transformation. The other thing I noticed is that I’m starting to become friendlier and slightly more sociable, as compared to my pass anti-social self.

Only slightly so far though. Transformation is a slow and painful process that doesn’t just happen overnight. At least I felt I made a little progress hanging out with Julian, Jonah, and their gang of people after math lessons. A small step I know, but at least making some progresses in that aspect. It’s not really that I don’t wanna go out and socialise more, it’s just that no one ever asks me out. Organise an event and I’ll be there!

Oh yea, I wanna use this opportunity to share an inspirational figure I found recently. Patrick Stump.

It’s a rather inspirational song. But not only that, he sure has changed a ton from back in the days. For those of you who don’t already know, he was the lead singer of Fall Out Boy, but they disbanded already. I won’t blame you if you can’t tell, go look at his old photos and his new look. Boy, has he lost some weight, totally polished up his new image.

Which incidentally, is what I aim to be doing this holiday. Training my IPPT as well as working out to lose weight and build some muscle mass. Granted, I probably can’t achieve such drastic result like his, without a proper gym and person trainer. I’m just aiming to lose a few kilos plus look and feel better is all. So, I’ll most likely be doing DIY exercise by myself. If you live close enough to Seng Kang, and wanna join in, just gimme a call.

Whoops, went slightly off topic there.

Phase IV: The battle for freedom

Finally of course, was the final exams. I had 4 exams this time round which was supposed to be more manageable than the usual 5 exams. That is, if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to clear 3 exams within 4 consecutive days, and then wait 8 days for the last one. And to be honest the 8 days didn’t help too much either…

So, a quick run through of the exams of the past two weeks. The first one was CS2100, deliberately held on a Saturday again. It was really a surprisingly doable paper. Nothing too unexpected came out. A few of the questions were in fact similar to those in past year papers. Although I’m really not sure of my answers and I left one question totally blank. Then came the Economics paper on Monday, which was crazy difficult. I mean, 80 questions in 120mins? Talk about time constraint. Plus, a whole lot of the questions required some form of calculations. I was barely able to finish the paper, without any time to check my answers again. The Very Next Day was the CS1020 paper, which meant that I didn’t really have a lot of time to study that at all. I just squeezed in some last minute reading and made my 1xA4 help-sheet for the exam. Naturally, it was fraught with careless mistakes…

8 days is seriously too long for me. You can't study for questions you have never even seen before. By the last day, I was just wishing for the whole thing to end. It’s like sitting there waiting for freedom to come. And now it has! Yay! Anyway as per usual, I usually do a rough self-assessment after every exam, and I have been quite accurate in my predictions thus far. With the exception of last semester though, as it was my first time in NUS, and little did I know that everyone here is so crazy. The moderation in NUS actually reduces my score! Previous moderations in other exams I’ve took usually pull up my score. Anyway I’ll just hazard a rough prediction this time round. If nothing goes wrong, I’m expecting an ‘A’ or at the very least an ‘A-‘ for CS1020, and either ‘A-‘ or ‘B+’ for both Economics and IS2101-which is fully project based. However, I’m not as optimistic for CS2100 and MA1312 let’s just say I’ll be happy with a ‘B’ for each. Though realistically speaking, either one could be a ‘B’ or ‘B-‘, again depending on the almighty “bell-curve” phenomena.  Overall, not very impressive as you can see. Most certainly not the 5 ‘A’s that I was hoping for…

Well, so there you have it. That’s my story. At least for Academic Year 1 Semester 2. Nothing too exciting really happened this semester. Semester 1 was possibly more interesting. I am looking forward to the next semester where hopefully more fun and excitement await. I will be taking more business modules and less of the technical stuff I did this sem. Hopefully the change of pace would prove to be more refreshing.

Innovation is underrated in my opinion. You should always try to change for the better. The smallest intricate improvements can create huge differences. As such, I’m always seeking ways for improvement both for myself and the things I do. Indifference is pure evil, and I am glad to have been shaken out of it.

Following the same reasoning, I will not be voting for the PAP tomorrow. It is evident that they have been in power for far too long, and I believe they have grown far too complacent. They probably believe they can maintain their rule for another 100 years. Competition spawns change and innovation; it forces them to work harder and better for the people if nothing else.That alone is reason enough for me to vote for the opposition.

What about me? Have I changed for the better? My honest answer is no. I’m not done changing yet. I’m always changing and reinventing. For starters, I shall be using this holiday period to work out some improvements. I mean, that’s what Incomplete Perfexion is about right? Nothing is inherently completely perfect. That’s why we should work at it and continuously change for the better.

“Be the change you want to see.”

That's all I have to say. Please do leave you thoughts and opinion below. What do you think of my year, or how I reviewed it? How can I improve? Friendly advice would be helpful. Thanks.