The Transition: 2017 - 2018

Happy New Year!

Hi everyone. Before beginning the post, just want to take the chance to wish you a happy new year, and welcome to 2018. Now, I did say that I was gonna put up a 2017 summary and review post, but didn't quite get around to doing it. Partly due to the fact that I was busy gaming, oops. Since it's New Year's day, I thought why not take the chance to combine both into a mega long post. My usual way to do it right? So I shall! Here is my review of 2017, and also some resolutions and outlook on the future horizon that is year 2018.

Let's start with the easy stuff. 2017 in review. You know, I actually had so few posts last year, that my 2017 resolution post was still on the first page of this blog as of writing. May have slipped into the second page after this, but wow have I been inactive. Actually quite the contrary. The times when I was super active on this blog, was when I was super inactive and everyday camping at home in my man-cave. Ah yes, those were the days of super-introvert mode. Not to say that I am super extroverted now, but I have taken active steps to try and improve my interaction skills, and I think it shows. I've made quite a number of friends in 2017, and learned to open up a bit and start talking to people. If you knew me at all before, you will know how hard it is for me to do that. Good change.

So looking back at the 2017 resolution post, I segregated it into 3 distinct categories: Skills, Health, and Education. Let's just review them one by one to see how I've done shall we? In terms of Skills, I feel like I have somewhat achieved what I wanted, partially. I had successfully thought myself how to develop apps using the latest version of the Ionic Framework, and through my school project published my first ever app onto Google Play. Sad to say, the freelance projects all did not pan out as planned, and I wasn't able to turn a profit from my skills yet. So I'd rate Skills as probably a solid B+ to A-. In terms of Health, I would say this area didn't do to well. As with everybody's new year resolution of "get in shape", this category usually fails the hardest. At the start of 2017, I mentioned that I was 10kgs away from my ideal weight? Well, throughout the year I actually lost 5 out of 10 of that. But you know what? After all the projects + exams + holiday binge eating, I have put back on another 2-3 kgs of that. FML. This calls for some drastic measures, more on that below. Health for me gets a fairly weak B-.

Last category, Education! You know, it's funny to write about this like 12 hours before the release of my exam results. I mean who knows how badly I did right? But I'll try not to look at it from that perspective. After all, results aren't everything. The initial point of this resolution, was to once again sharpen my intellect and thinking skills, by putting myself through the Masters programme. To that end, I'd say I did superbly well, grades notwithstanding. I mean, I successfully tanked majority portions of essay writing projects, did a fair bit of research, studied like crazy for exams, and most of all design, developed and publish my own mobile app. That coupled with all the interactions and connections I built with my fellow classmates throughout the semester, makes me feel like I have accomplished almost everything I set out to achieve in this category. I am no longer the sluggish blur government service employee that once was. I am now almost as sharp as in the past, and well ready to take on complex tasks and projects. A boon for my goal of working in Japan. Overall, I must give myself a solid A for this. Would have been an A+, but I think I screwed up 1 of my exams as the only blemish to this otherwise awesome semester. We shall see in the results tomorrow. Haha.

But goals aside, I also want to talk about the softer stuff. The more personal stuff, and what had been going on in my life in 2017. I am after all, not just a goal oriented machine. To which, I will sum up the year with one word: tragedy. But not irrecoverable tragedy, just a series of really really sad misfortunes. As mentioned in a post some time back, my mom was recovering from a stroke for the most part of 2017, which is painful not just for her but for the family as well. Her mental state is not the best, and she gets frustrated and has a short fuse. It could have been such stresses that caused her stroke in the first place, but it certainly isn't getting any better. For the most part, I've chosen to ignore most of it so that I can focus on my studies, but my sister bears the full brunt of it, so much so that she's never at home anymore. Tragic. Then there is that situation where I did something super ultra stupid and basically fucked myself over. I won't say what, but suffice to say I screwed myself bad. The effects of which I am still trying to deal with and resolve to this day. I sincerely hope and pray to god I can resolve it by the half or 3/4 of 2018, so that I can start work by end 2018 or early 2019. Please lah, torlong ah. Worse tragedy ever.

Where does that leave me now? Well, I stand at the doorstep of 2018 with 2 big bags, one in each hand. On one hand, I carry with me a baggage all the pain, suffering and tragedy from 2017 that am not able to simply discard. But on the other hand, I hold with me all the promises, opportunities, excitement, and happiness that the future promises. How do I balance the 2 and maximise my situation? That's the thing. Balance is the key. With the 2 sides of me, I always try to strive for balance. Unlike some people who only sulk, or others who are always rainbows and sunshines and butterflies, I don't believe you can be just one or the other. In fact, I think it is foolish to do so. Sure, I may seem ultra pessimistic at times, which I usually post here. But there are other times, where I am fairly bullish and just jump on something new. I just don't post so much about those, because the results are usually uncertain. But I digress. The point I want to put across is balance. Don't be so egoistical and self-righteous and think that you can always discard the bad and only see the good. But also, nothing is only all bad without a hint of opportunity in it. Yin and Yang. Holy shit, am I turning into some zen master? Anyways, let's move on.

Therefore, with the experience of 2017 and now being 1 year wiser, I would like to take a look at 2018 with a fresh, but informed perspective. What works? Clearly for me, the 3 categories provided a very viable approach to deciding on new year's resolution and the direction for the entire year. Perhaps it's just me, but I am obsessed with the numbers 3 and 5 for all things information. I think they are just magic numbers that tend to stick with people. Anything else looks odd, or becomes too much to handle. Just my nonscientific no backing logic. But evidently, it seems to work with me, so let's stick with that!



Career
Okay this is an obvious one. I can't remain jobless forever right? I mean I do still have a fair chunk of savings left, but staying at home and living with parents forever was never part of the plan. Even if I do remain single, unfortunately. On the bright side, I have applied to Rakuten Japan, and successfully cleared their programming test. So, if all goes well I should be expecting to attend their interview soon. It almost feels strange, but I'll once again be fighting in the job market like I did all those years ago. Except now, I am wizened by the weathering of all these years of experience. I expect that it should go well.

As for what the actual resolution is, basically just to clear all the interviews and tests to get myself the job of my dreams. Oh and hope to settle that 1 big tye chee that could break the dream and prevent me from going. But totally out of my hands, fingers crossed for now. Aside from that, I will continue to brush up on my Japanese language skills by actually doing revisions before going for class, so that I don't look like an idiot. Already attending N2 level class, yet I still can't speak or understand shit. Gotta buck up and improve my nihongo!



Fitness
The same goal stands as per last year. Try to hit my goal weight of 80kgs. Yes, I know I am revealing my weight. But just shows how dedicated I am to achieving it! I was halfway there in 2017. Which means that I can definitely go all the way there in 2018! Must keep the motivation strong and stick to my guns. I know it can be done, as long as I am willing to put in the work, put up with the sacrifices, and stick with the programme.

I kept mentioning that I want to go for interval runs, but have not done so. At this point, I feel like that's the last ace up the sleeve. If I actually do it, I WILL definitely see results. That plus my healthy blended juice that I've been doing lately, and my recent attempt at a 24h fasting window. If I persist with my efforts, I just know I will see the results. So, here's to a slimmer fitter me in 2018!



Maturity
The first 2 categories above come out as super obvious things. So I had to think a little harder and longer, to put together this category. It's not immediately obvious or concrete what I need to do, but it is certainly clear that I must work on this aspect. In the past, I actually prided myself as being slightly more on the childish side, and loathed people who tried to act all mature grown up. In my mind, these people are just kidding themselves, with the facade of ego, confidence and self-righteousness. Is it really necessary to act all so mature? I felt that you end up having less fun, fool yourself, and ultimately have less creative ideas and imagination than someone who is a bit more childish, like myself.

But looking at this concept again now brings new found wisdom. It is again about balance. I don't always have to play as a mature stoic adult. Nor should I always behave like a kid. I can partition and balance the responsibilities of an adult, with the creativity and imagination of a child. Which I have been unknowingly doing for some time now over the past year. This brings me to the resolution of wanting to focus on this aspect in 2018. To be mature and independent, and take care of things in a more responsible way. To be able to be more decisive, active, and aware. To take care of not just myself, but others as well. To get problems settled.

Whether it is the major problem that I keep bringing up. Or if situation permits, whether it is looking after myself and embarking on a new journey to live and work in Japan. Or simply just to develop a frame of mind that allows me to get things done. I have seen a glimpse of it in the latter half of 2017. And I must say that my classmates and friends were key drivers that helped me realize and work on it. While I do not have concrete targets to hit on this, I certainly do want to actively focus upon it in 2018! This will be the year we finally see a truly mature me. Not someone pretending to be mature, but someone who knows truly how to balance all aspects of life.



Well that's it I guess. My short and simple impetuses for 2018. I've tried to keep it as focused as I can, while also covering as much of the areas I want to work on as possible. The last one may seem like something of a cop-out category, but honestly I think it is not so simple. It is something that needs to be worked on with intention. The ultimate goal remains the same as last year though. To work my way towards a life of working and living in Japan.

So there you have it! My 2018 resolutions clearly spelt out. We can check back again in a year to see how I faired. In the meantime, what are your resolutions? Let me know! I'd be keen on hearing them!

Till next time, happy 2018!