HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019

This is the obligatory new year post that I do every year. Not that I think of it as just a chore. In fact, I do think that it is a good time to look back and review how much I've progressed, and to plan ahead to what I look to achieve in the coming 364 days. As cliche as it sounds, "new year, new me" allows for constant change and something to look forward to. I think it is rather important. After all, so much has happened in the past year that brought me to where I am today. So, let's learn from the past and progress into the future! In order to write this post, I actually had to look back at last year's post to see what I wrote back then. It was so long ago... Looking back at it, somehow reading it makes me feel like I was so childish back then. Was I really like that? I guess that has some bearing on how much I've changed and developed in just 1 year alone. Everything seemed so disorganized back then. And they still are today, but I have a general sense of where I am heading. So without further ado, let's do a quick review of 2018 first.

I can see that I broke up my 2018 goals into 3 main categories, which makes it easier to review. In fact, I still think it is a good idea and I will probably come up with another 3 goals for this year. Okay, so first category from 2018 was Career. Well, in short all I can say that it was a complete flop. 3 out of 10, failure. Let's elaborate. On the job hunting side, I was eventually rejected by Rakuten Japan after the interview. But to be honest, they were looking for your standard slave worker programmer, of which I am not. I made it clear to them that I am more of a front-end developer, designer, and project manager. Just wasn't the right fit. I did apply again this year just for kicks, but not planning to take it too seriously. I updated my CV to clearly state my inclinations. I also started experimenting here and there with trading cryptocurrencies as a side profit making strategy. Things didn't do too well as the whole market basically tanked. Margin day-trading was also a disaster, as I went from breakeven to making big losses. I did learn a lot in the process, and I currently have 6 bots that are trading and maintaining my funds 24/7 so I guess that's kind of cool?

As for the ongoing trials and tribulations that I am facing... Honestly, it is STILL NOT OVER! I am slightly pissed at this point. To the extent that I don't care what the outcome is, I just want it to finish. It's been dragging on me since mid 2017, not allowing me to progress in my career and basically being stuck in limbo. But it's close, an I do expect to be done by Q2 of 2019. Fingers crossed for a good outcome. A major milestone for me, was when I graduated from my Master's course with a 4.6/5 GPA. Also managed to get a decent testimonial from prof and a certificate of excellence which I think was pretty awesome. But yeah, other than that, I am somehow progressing with my Japanese language. I cleared N3 in 2018 and I am now working towards my N2 if I get the chance. Because the mid year JLPT test might clash with my Q2 date of that other thing. I might have to push it to the Dec test. We'll see.  At first I wanted to give myself a 3 out of 10, but reading all of that again, I think I do deserve a 4 out of 10. I did what I could given the circumstances.

In terms of the second goal of Fitness, I will say that it is a mixed bag. Probably a 5 out of 10 at best. Not completely fail, but did not hit target as intended. Looking back, the goal was to slim down and cut down to 80kgs. I'll just honestly say that I did not hit that goal lah. In fact, I actually put on some weight and went from 88kgs to 90kgs. But let me elaborate. The thing is, I never actually ended up focusing on cutting, and ended up bulking instead. I have gained considerable strength and muscle mass in 2018, and I can now bench 200lbs which is officially heavier than myself. Being able to push more than your own body weight feels amazing man. But yeah, aside from the daily 16/8 intermittent fasting, which seems to have no more further fat burning effects at this point, I am a lot less active now that I have no school. Also stopped drinking the blended juice regularly, but in exchange I switched my daily lunch to a healthy ham and lettuce sandwich instead. All in all, let's just say that fitness had not been the forefront of my attention in the past year. And as a result, I wasn't able to seriously hit my targets, but managed to maintain more or less.

The third goal I had for 2018 was Maturity. In this aspect, I can strongly say that I have made much strides in this regard. Who knew the last one of my goals turned out to be the most impactful after all? Let me explain. As I spoke briefly about in my post on "Depression", I have been seeing a psychiatrist for treatment. But other than that, it's also about talking with close friends, and really just trying to understand myself and the people around me that I care about. It's hard to quantify or put into words, but I do feel like I am more aware now. I know myself a lot better, I know my strengths and weaknesses, I know what I need to work on, and I know where I am headed. That's more than enough for a good start. Probably an 8 out of 10 if I were to score it. But certainly, the journey is not over. There is plenty more ways in terms of maturity of thought that I can improve on. I capped off the year nicely by finally taking that Myers Briggs test, and truly learnt a lot about myself being an INTJ. Honestly, being currently held in this limbo and staying at home all the time is not helping. But as I said, this whole ordeal will likely be over by Q2 of this year. Once that is over, I can work towards my next stage, which as you guessed it, is Japan!

So that's my 2018 in a short review! Here's the summary. Basically, career wise there has not been too much progress due to the ongoing issues that I'm facing, but I did my best filling out the time with whatever learning and development I could. Fitness wise, I was expecting to kickstart the weight loss at the end of that long drawn ordeal, but it ain't over yet. So, I continue to put on strength to see how much muscle I can build and maintain. In terms of maturity, I made great strides by coming forward and facing my weaknesses. By doing things I normally would never had done in the past. And I continued to improve and learn more about myself and the people around me. So that's 2018 in review! I tried to keep this post shorter and save my so called new year resolutions for the new post, so stay tuned!

2018 had been a long rough year. let's progress further in 2019!