Christmas Eve

Looks like I'm alone for Christmas again.

Sad life is sad. And SAD stands for Singles Awareness Day, or so I'm told....

Oh well, at least I get to spend the Christmas with my family. Just about the only people left who still care about me. Or at least I would say that, but now even my family is not that close anymore. For some reason, my Mom went out super early today. She then came back for a short while, and left the house again without saying anything. No breakfast, lunch and dinner for me.

Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. Correction, all the time I think about it. I can't seem to come up with a concrete answer to that, except the fact that I need to be more proactive and act on impulse. But it's so damn hard! I'm built as a very controlled and calculating person. I always take a long time to consider my actions before doing anything. Sometimes dwelling for too long, and giving up on the riskier choices.

That may be good most of the time, and can help save my ass. But it has also costed me many great opportunities in life. And things I should have cherished and gave my life for, but ended up letting go due to fear.

Or maybe my mind is just slow. I've once been told by my Pri 1 teacher that I was very slow. Indeed, my reactions are rather slow. Even in games, I can never seem to have good coordination. FPS games are totally off limits to me. Sometimes I suspect that I am a little bit Autistic, but I've just never been diagnosed for it.

Maybe I am thinking too much. But then again, I always try to brush off my problems and try to act normal. It could be that I'm not normal. But I really hope that's not the case. I just hope this is a temporary issue, that will be solved when opportunity arises. Through external stimuli, such as career and relationship. I guess I'm just too anxious for the change but I don't seek it actively enough.

Just do it.

Wheeew~ I've never actually shared such intimate personal details about myself previously. I guess I've always liked to maintain a low profile and keep my feelings hidden. Sometimes it's good to pour everything on the table. After all, nobody will be seeing this, so I'm relatively safe.

In the event that you actually read til this point... I've been upgrading the blog slowly over these days. There is now links to all my social network accounts, on the left pane.
<---------- p="p">I never knew I had so damn many social services! You'd think it might help me be a little more social in real life right? Pfft. Do feel free to add me though.

In addition, you can now easily subscribe to this blog. It's always been there, but not organised properly and hard to see. Now there's just 3 simple icons. Subscribe via RSS feed, Subscribe via Blogger Account, or Email updates. Email of course being the easiest and fastest. So, PLEASE SUBSCRIBE!

The least noticeable change is the songs playlist for the music player. Of course, you wouldn't notice if pause is the first button you hit on the site. Basically, I doubled the playlist of songs, bringing the total to a whopping 42! A lot of the songs are really nice, so please check them out!

Or if you don't like, check out the YouTube videos I post!
Here is a totally stripped down acoustic version of the song in the last post. It shows his amazing voice, and their ability to play the song anywhere.

It's a very emotional song, and sounds great. I've been addicted to it for more than 2 weeks now. Just keep it stuck on repeat like forever. I hope you like it too.

In any case, it's Christmas eve today. I guess not everyone is as sad as me. So, for those of you celebrating with loved ones or family, good for you. I wish you a very merry christmas. Enjoy your life to the fullest, but don't forget your sad friends like me.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!